Isn’t it interesting that when asked a question about divorce, Jesus replied by talking about God’s design for marriage? Asked the wrong question, He gave the right answer.
When the Pharisees asked if it was “lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause” in Matthew 19:3, it was a test in more ways than one. Jesus was “beyond the Jordan” in a region ruled by Herod Antipas. Israel had been scandalized when Herod divorced his wife and Herodias divorced Herod’s half-brother so they could marry each other. John the Baptist denounced their union and ultimately was beheaded for it (Matthew 14:1-12). The Pharisees’ test was not an abstract theological question but a politically loaded current event; and they debated it, too! The law allowed a man to divorce his wife if he “found some indecency in her” (Deuteronomy 24:1). Conservative Pharisees interpreted “indecency” as referring exclusively to sexual immorality while liberals interpreted it as anything from spoiling supper to meeting someone prettier.
Talk about a test! Whichever way Jesus answered, He would either condemn or condone Herod. He would identify as either conservative or liberal. Too bad for them that Jesus did not take the bait. “He answered, ‘Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate’” (Matthew 19:4-6).
Jesus saw divorce as a symptom of hard hearts. Doesn’t it result when sin takes hold and separates us through abuse, bitterness, selfishness, or unfaithfulness? As such, Jesus had startling news for the Pharisees, who were so concerned about purity: allowing things like that in your life makes you an adulterer, one of those sinners you look down on so much. God expects more than box-checking: purity means being transformed to want what He wants. Rather than answering “is it lawful”, Jesus challenges us with “what does God want?”
Let us all learn from His wonderful example. Instead of asking when divorce is okay like the Pharisees, let’s focus on God’s design for marriage like Jesus did. Let’s allow Him to teach us how to be loving, loyal, forgiving, and to truly put each other first. “Since the beginning”, God created us for relationship. If we seek to be joined together as God desires, just imagine the help, healing, and hope we can share.