Many of us are looking forward to the upcoming holidays…but not all of us. For some, the holidays are a painful reminder of a departed loved one or a wayward child: broken families cast dark shadows over the brightest of festivities. Will the siblings who don’t get along behave? Will the outspoken relative with the out-there opinions start a fight? Our experience of the holidays – and just of life – can be profoundly affected by things outside of our control.
Yet, Christianity is concerned with self-control. The Apostle Paul called self-control a “fruit of the Spirit” in his earliest letter and proclaimed in his final letter two decades later that “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23, 2 Tim. 1:7). Self-control is a qualification to be a church elder – but also just to be a Christian man (cf. 1 Tim. 3:2; Ti. 1:8, 2:2,6). It is characteristic of godly women and something younger women should train to become (cf. 1 Tim. 2:9-10, Ti. 2:4-5). “Every athlete exercises self-control in all things,” Paul wrote to the sports-loving Corinthians. “They do it for a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable” (1 Cor. 9:25). Self-control is so crucial that he urged it to the level of taking “every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5).
Paul once summarized faith in Christ as being “about righteousness and self-control and the coming judgment” (cf. Acts 24:24-25). Interestingly, he was a prisoner through no fault of his own when he said that. Yet even while persecuted, he rejoiced. “In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need,” the prisoner wrote: “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:12-13).
You can, too. The same Christ strengthens you. The same Spirit is at work to produce His fruit in you. When despair invades your mind, you can take those thoughts captive. Start thanking God for all the good He has done throughout your life. Bring your pain to Him knowing He cares. Receive His comfort through singing, Scripture, or fellowship. And when that relative starts, don’t respond. Tell them you love them and keep moving. Pray for them a bunch.
No matter what anyone else does, we have a choice. God gave us that when He created us: we get to choose what we think and feel, and no one can take that from us. If we will take our thoughts captive and focus on how we are going to glorify Christ, we can know peace and joy no matter our situation.
It is not good to be alone. Through Jesus Christ, God gives us a way to experience real relationship. Learn how to experience it along with us at https://www.georgetownchurchofchrist.com/real-relationship.