Must I Forgive?

Peter was uneasy in Matthew 18.  Jesus had just taught His disciples to resolve their issues because “if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father…where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” (18:15-20).  Experiencing God’s power and presence sounds great – but someone who wrongs us is usually the last person we want to go talk to alone.  So, Peter asked, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" (18:21). He wanted to do things Jesus’ way, but there must be a limit.  At what point have we been hurt enough that we can stop forgiving without losing God’s power and presence?

Jesus answered with a story.  A king’s servant owed him billions of dollars (18:23-25).  How do you even get in that position?  How damaging was that to his master and family?  “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything,” he absurdly pleaded (18:26).  There was no way he could ever repay that.  Then “out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt” (18:27).  He legitimately owed an impossible amount, and his King just released him from it.  He was free, but the story was not over. That servant went out and mercilessly imprisoned a co-worker who owed him $12,000 (18:28-29).  Now if someone owed me $12,000, it would hurt.  Forgiving does not mean the wrong did not hurt:  it means that what the King has done for us matters more.  When word reached the King, he punished the wicked servant for not showing mercy like he received (18:30-34).

When we focus on our hurt, forgiving seems impossible.  That is why Jesus used a story to shift the focus to how much God has forgiven us.  Jesus sets us free from the debt of every sin we have ever committed at great personal cost – His death on the cross.  We must not then go and enslave ourselves again with bitterness by refusing to forgive.  You see, forgiveness is more than just settling our account with God.  It is more than a rule to be kept a minimum number of times.  Forgiveness helps us become more like our King by showing mercy and living freely.  It is meant to change who we are and how we relate to others, especially those who hurt us.  That all happens within our own hearts (18:35).

Now, there is a lot more to be said about reconciliation, the long-term process of restoring relationships.  Yet before that begins, we work with God’s help on forgiveness within ourselves.  Once we experience that freedom, we realize how we really cannot forgive too much.

Train to be like Jesus every day through our “Your Kingdom Come” series of sermons, Bible studies, and articles.