“It’s funny how quickly we go from being thankful to feeling like we deserve it.”
My physician co-worker had just been promoted to Professor, the pinnacle of any faculty member’s career. This honest reflection he gave in response to my congratulations stopped me in my tracks. Since initially moving to Baltimore for a “foot-in-the-door” job, I had accepted a leadership role and received big pay increases every year. I worked hard and had results. Yet, he could have been describing me. I told myself always wanting more was how you made things better. Climbing the ladder lets you help more people. Except I was always looking at the next rung up.
I honestly didn’t do much with the realization of how discontent I was at the time. I still had a lot more interviews, job changes, and ladder-climbing in my future: but it was never enough. Our expenses expanded to match our income. My ego expanded to surpass my title. Whatever Ashley did at home, I’d find the chore she didn’t do. Whatever role I served in at church, I wanted to do a different one. I might briefly ride high when things went well, but it would never last. What’s worse, when things were bad or even just difficult, I’d become deeply depressed.
With time, pain, and some amazing Christian influences, I would eventually recognize that my discontent came from not being focused on Jesus. I consistently went to church, even actively served – but it was always about me. That’s why I didn’t have peace. That’s why any pushback made me angry and every criticism cut deep.
Writing from prison, the Apostle Paul said he had “learned in whatever situation I am to be content” (Philippians 4:11). What was his secret? “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:12-13). With this focus, Paul could have a peace that surpassed understanding. Of course, he made plans, and he tried to continuously improve. Yet, when things didn’t go according to plan, it was okay. It wasn’t about him: God was in control. Christ was the one to be glorified. When we aren’t where we thought we’d be, we look for how to glorify Him where we are. Instead of focusing on what we lack, we thank Him for what we have.
I’m not going to pretend I have this mastered. Even Paul had to learn it. With a lot of prayer and hard work, we can learn to be content, too; and things keep getting better as we do.